Is Being More Human at Work Really Unprofessional?

by Mar 3, 2023

Is being more human at work really unprofessional? I remember being a mother for the first time and returning to my corporate office. I had left my little baby behind and I was worried for her well-being. I thought about her being alone in that day care and having all the feels first-time mothers experience. Every time my baby coughed or had a runny nose, I would lose sleep worrying about asking my boss for a day off to take care of her. It was ok once. It was somewhat ok the second time but by the third time, I was asked to choose between being a mother or an employee. 

That was back in 2008 and it’s hard to imagine that flying today. Our world has changed (a bit) but at that time it sent a clear message that you do NOT bring your personal stuff to work- it was “just business- nothing personal.”

So, this got me to thinking- how often are our feelings hurt in meetings and later we’re told – don’t take it personally- it’s just business? 

The notion that humans should separate emotions from their work life is bizarre. When we are asked to do this, it creates a toxic environment where managers and leaders learn to be detached from their employees’ feelings and who they are as human beings. If you start treating people as a resource to achieve the company agenda and priorities, people stop caring personally. 

 

What’s the cost of being more human at work?

  • These environments cause employees to stop caring about going above and beyond- they will do the minimum expected to keep their jobs
  • They stop caring about their colleagues, engagements, and being committed to their company
  • Those employees will not take a risk for a “jerk” boss
  • There is a lack of innovation because innovation requires security and safety.  If employees worry about being fired when they take a sick day- cross innovation right off!

But most importantly, they stop trusting you as their LEADER. How can we trust somebody who says it’s not personal- just business?

New generation of managers care personally. They actually care about people on their team doing what they love, their career growth. or if their parents are dying or if they ask you to use a different pronoun that makes them feel more included, and most of all, when people care personally – they will do their BEST to be the best. 

So, please start caring. We can’t leave parts of our lives and hearts at home and still show up fully at work. 

Incivility, bullying, and harassment occur because the culture allows them to. Before starting inclusivity initiatives, you’ve got to stop bad behavior. Take this assessment to determine if your workplace fosters a positive culture.

About Catherine Mattice

Catherine Mattice, MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP is President of consulting and training firm, Civility Partners, and has been successfully providing programs in workplace bullying and building positive workplaces since 2007. Her clients include Fortune 500’s, the military, several universities and hospitals, government agencies, small businesses and nonprofits. She has published in a variety of trade magazines and has appeared several times on NPR, FOX, NBC, and ABC as an expert, as well as in USA Today, Inc Magazine, Huffington Post, Entrepreneur Magazine, and more. Catherine is Past-President of the Association for Talent Development (ATD), San Diego Chapter and teaches at National University. In his book foreword, Ken Blanchard called her book, BACK OFF! Your Kick-Ass Guide to Ending Bullying at Work, “the most comprehensive and valuable handbook on the topic.” She recently released a second book entitled, SEEKING CIVILITY: How Leaders, Managers and HR Can Create a Workplace Free of Bullying.

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