Reflections on Workplace Behavior: Am I a Bully?

by Nov 24, 2023

Getting along in the workplace can be tough, and many people wonder if they’re behaving the right way at work. One particularly important aspect to reflect on is whether one’s actions may be perceived as bullying. Bullying at work is a serious issue that can negatively impact both individuals and the overall workplace environment. We will explore signs that may indicate if you’re unknowingly engaging in bullying behavior and offer strategies for fostering a more positive and respectful workplace.

 

Recognizing Bullying Behavior:

Examine Your Communication Style:

Pay attention to how you communicate with your colleagues. Are you consistently assertive, or do your interactions lean towards aggression? Bullying often involves the use of harsh language, humiliation, or constant criticism.

 

Feedback and Constructive Criticism:

Consider how you provide feedback. Are your comments constructive and aimed at improvement, or do they come across as personal attacks? Genuine constructive criticism fosters growth, while constant negativity can be demoralizing.

 

Power Dynamics:

Evaluate the power dynamics in your interactions. Are you using your position to control or manipulate others? Bullying often involves exploiting perceived imbalances in power, leading to an unhealthy work environment.

 

Isolation and Exclusion:

Reflect on whether you contribute to a culture of inclusivity or exclusivity. Bullying behavior often manifests through isolating or excluding certain individuals, creating a toxic atmosphere.

 

Empathy Check:

Assess your level of empathy towards colleagues. Bullying is often associated with a lack of empathy and understanding. If you find yourself indifferent to the feelings of others, it may be a red flag.

 

Strategies for Change:

Self-Reflection:

Take the time to reflect on your behavior regularly. Consider the impact your actions may have on others and be open to feedback from colleagues.

 

Seek Feedback

Actively seek feedback from your peers and superiors. Honest conversations about your behavior can provide valuable insights and help you identify areas for improvement.

 

Develop Emotional Intelligence

Work on enhancing your emotional intelligence. This includes understanding and managing your emotions effectively, as well as recognizing and empathizing with the emotions of others.

 

Effective Communication Training

Consider participating in communication or conflict resolution training. These programs can equip you with the skills to communicate assertively while maintaining a respectful tone.

 

Apologize and Make Amends

If you realize that you’ve engaged in bullying behavior, take responsibility for your actions. Apologize to those affected and demonstrate a commitment to change through your future conduct.

 

Acknowledging the possibility that you may be exhibiting bullying behavior is a crucial step towards creating a healthier workplace environment. By actively reflecting on your actions, seeking feedback, and taking steps to improve your communication and interpersonal skills, you can contribute to fostering a workplace culture that values respect, empathy, and collaboration. Remember, positive change starts with self-awareness and a commitment to personal growth.

PS. Join our FREE webinar on “When Intersectionality and Toxic Behavior Intersect: Managing Toxic Behavior as it Relates to Race, Sex, and Gender” on November 29th, 10am PST/ 1PM EST. 

 

Written by: Cleo Tubon

Civility is the platform for organizational success—it is absolutely necessary for an organization to reach its goals. Download our Ebook on Seeking Civility to learn more on how to create a workplace free of bullying and abusive conduct.

 

About Catherine Mattice

Catherine Mattice, MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP is President of consulting and training firm, Civility Partners, and has been successfully providing programs in workplace bullying and building positive workplaces since 2007. Her clients include Fortune 500’s, the military, several universities and hospitals, government agencies, small businesses and nonprofits. She has published in a variety of trade magazines and has appeared several times on NPR, FOX, NBC, and ABC as an expert, as well as in USA Today, Inc Magazine, Huffington Post, Entrepreneur Magazine, and more. Catherine is Past-President of the Association for Talent Development (ATD), San Diego Chapter and teaches at National University. In his book foreword, Ken Blanchard called her book, BACK OFF! Your Kick-Ass Guide to Ending Bullying at Work, “the most comprehensive and valuable handbook on the topic.” She recently released a second book entitled, SEEKING CIVILITY: How Leaders, Managers and HR Can Create a Workplace Free of Bullying.

3 Stories That Prove Positive Culture Change is Possible

When SHRM launched their #CivilityAtWork initiative, it felt like a rallying cry for everything we believe in and have been fighting for these last 15 years. Respectful, thriving workplaces are the dream we all share, but let’s be real—getting there isn’t always easy....

A Look Back and Look Forward: Where Are You Headed with Culture?

Culture can make or break a workplace. If that sounds dramatic, but consider this: 94% of executives and 88% of employees believe a strong workplace culture is critical to business success, yet 69% of employees say their organizations lack a culture where feedback is...

Celebrate the Season Without Dividing Your Team: Inclusive Holiday Tips

The holiday season may be billed as the most wonderful time of the year, but it’s often a minefield of conflicts waiting to happen. Holidays are deeply personal, sparking joy and nostalgia for some while leaving others feeling excluded or stressed. With 44% of...

3 Ways to Manage Post-Election Stress at Work and Home This Holiday Season

Elections are more than debates and opinions—they’re emotional whirlwinds that don’t end when the polls close. This year, presidential election stress is breaking records, with reported levels higher than in both 2020 and 2016. And the fallout lingers. A University of...

Post-Election Chaos: 3 Ways to Keep Psychological Safety Intact

According to a survey by the American Psychological Association, nearly 70% of Americans view political discourse as a significant source of stress, and workplaces are no exception. In fact, SHRM reports that political and social tensions have driven workplace...

Your CEO thinks HR is operational, not strategic?

Do these comments resonate with you?  Owners don’t understand that we’re not just paperwork. HR is a punching bag expected to resolve everyone’s mess. There’s no HR budget, no support, and a team of 2 for 300+ employees. Even after a workforce survey, leadership still...

Free Webinar: Unlock Your Managers’ Leadership Potential

Being good at your job doesn’t make you good at managing people. You know this.  You also know the outcome when an individual contributor moves to a manager role without receiving the right training – a struggling team, unclear expectations, conflict, disengaged...

5 Tools for Pitching Culture Change to Leadership

You already know that a strong culture leads to engaged employees, lower turnover, and a healthier bottom line, but convincing leadership? That’s a different story. It's exhausting pushing for changes that are dismissed as “soft skills” or shot down because they don't...

Why leadership’s ‘Hands-Off’ approach to culture is costing you more than you think

Picture this: you’re actively working to foster a positive workplace culture, but managers and leaders are adopting a 'hands-off' approach. At first, it seems harmless, even convenient—but beneath the surface, it's quietly wreaking havoc. Top talent? They're slipping...

Elections and Leadership: 3 Ways Your Reaction Can Impact Your Team

Election season tends to bring division and tension, and it’s hard to avoid. Even if you’ve reminded your team to steer clear of political conversations at work, it’s likely that the topic will still pop up here and there. The truth is, having employees with different...