Sick of HR getting the blame for bullying? (For Dummies Excerpt)

by May 28, 2025

As I was writing my upcoming book, Navigating a Toxic Workplace For Dummies (Wiley), I was reminded about all the research on workplace bullying that indicates HR gets the blame for bullying, HR is not helpful, and, in fact, according to the research, most often makes things much worse for people who complain of bullying.

I have always taken issue with this research because that’s just not been my experience. In over 16 years and almost 300 clients, of course I’ve come across this on occasion, but for me the norm is that HR has been trying to get permission from their CEO to address toxic behavior from one individual or a toxic culture causing turnover and other problems. 

I included the research in my book so readers have a full picture of potential outcomes of a complaint, but I also crafted a whole chapter for my HR readers to help them create a solid, fact-based argument for addressing toxicity at work (excerpted below). 

 

Here’s what research says on HR getting the blame for bullying

Here are some quotes from the book, Bullying and Harassment in the Workplace: Theory, Research and Practice (3rd Ed.), edited by big-name workplace bullying researchers, Einarsen, Hoel, Zapf and Cooper:

  • “Targets of bullying often express great dissatisfaction with the support and help they hoped to receive by HR.”
  • “HR managers have frequently been portrayed as at best passive and uninformed in bullying cases, and at worst an accomplice, siding with the bully.” 
  • “HR managers tried to reframe the bullying situation, provide temporary solutions rather than addressing root causes or even tried to push away help-seeking targets.”

I noticed, however, that the author of this chapter, another big-name researcher, Denise Salin, is using a lot of research from 2010 through 2015 to make her point that HR isn’t an ally for targets of bullying. Hopefully 10 years later, HR has come a long way in terms of their response to complaints of bullying.

And, while the above scenarios are certainly very real for many people out there, I think Salin has failed to ask the question “WHY?” Why does HR not offer support? Why do they appear to side with the bully, or offer only temporary solutions?

These questions are important because their answers highlight that HR is still clambering for a seat at the table, to be heard, and to get support and money to implement their ideas for building a better work environment that attracts and retains talent. HR professionals join HR to make people’s lives better, and the reality is that they often can’t get permission from leadership to do just that.

Hence, the chapter in my book 🙂

 

How HR can build a case for culture change

Below is an excerpt from Navigating a Toxic Workplace For Dummies, due out in just under a month to help you make your case to leadership for solving toxic work problems. This is the section referring to the POWER method, designed by Granville Toogood in his book, The Articulate Executive in Action.

I’m offering a specific script here, and suggest that while you read it, consider whether you speak like this when presenting your ideas to leadership.

 

Punch

Open with a hard-hitting fact or cost-related impact to capture attention immediately. For example: “We’re losing 20 percent of employees within their first six months. This is costing us approximately $275,000 annually in lost productivity, recruiting, and training costs.”

 

One theme

Focus on one core issue and break it down with data and real-world impact. Use survey results, industry benchmarks, and other data that help you make your case. Be sure to use high-impact numbers that pack a punch —don’t dilute your argument with small percentages or too many numbers. 

For example: “In the last month alone, four employees left our call center, forcing the remaining ten to work overtime, costing us $25,000 in extra pay. Three more employees have just put in their notice due to burnout. I calculated the total turnover cost, including recruiting, hiring, and lost productivity. So far this year, we’ve already spent $250,000 replacing people who leave.”

 

Window

Support your case with industry research, expert opinions, or competitor examples. Leaders trust numbers and trends, not just opinions. 

For example: “An MIT study shows that a structured onboarding program including a buddy system with at least eight meetings can increase retention by 90 percent. Implementing this program would cost $70,000 over eight months in my time, the software, and the time to train my HR teammates, but it would save us $205,000 next year.”

 

Ear

Address any areas they may push back on before they’re brought up. For example: “I’m sure timing is on your mind, given everything else we have going on. My thoughts are . . . which aligns with . . . .” Also, ask questions to invite discussion and gauge their concerns instead of just talking at them. 

For example: “Any questions so far? How does this sound to you? Have any of your teams been impacted by turnover? What other information do you need to feel comfortable moving forward? What may make you hesitate to approve this initiative?”

 

Retention

End with a clear summary of what you’re proposing, why it matters, and how it benefits the business. 

For example: “This onboarding system will reduce turnover and increase productivity. The key components include a buddy program, rearranging training schedules to better integrate new hires, gamifying learning to help employees engage with our culture, and implementing software. The total estimated cost is $70,000, and we can roll it out in four months.”

 

What’s next

HR often gets a bad rap when it comes to workplace bullying. But from where I sit, that reputation doesn’t match the heart I see in so many of you. You’re the ones trying to make work better, often with limited support and under a ton of pressure.

Toxic workplaces are real. It’s chasing good people out the door, draining morale, and costing your company more than anyone wants to admit. But there’s a way forward. You now have tools, language, and a strategy to build a business case leadership can’t ignore.\

Don’t let old perceptions box you in. You do have a voice. You have the data and the passion.

For more tips, pre-order my book and join the virtual launch party! I’m sharing everything I’ve learned working with hundreds of organizations that wanted better, too. 

We’ll be joined by the amazing Garry Ridge, former CEO of WD-40 (yep, the company known for its incredible culture), and we’re giving away copies of Any Dumbass Can Do It: Learning Moments from an Everyday CEO of a Multi-Billion-Dollar Company. Plus, we’ve got a few fun surprises for lucky attendees, too.

Your seat at the table is waiting – let’s get you there with a message that matters.

Do you know how much money chronically bad behavior costs your company? Spoiler alert – it’s a LOT higher than you want it to be. Download our data and worksheet to see how it’s costing your organization and what you can do to fix it.

 

Catherine

About Catherine Mattice

Catherine Mattice, MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, is the founder/CEO of Civility Partners, an organizational development firm focused on helping organizations create respectful workplace cultures and specializing in turning around toxic cultures. Civility Partners’ clients range from Fortune 500’s to small businesses across many industries. Catherine is a TEDx speaker and an HR thought-leader who has appeared in such venues as USA Today, Bloomberg, CNN, NPR, and many other national news outlets as an expert. She’s an award-winning speaker, author and blogger, and has 50+ courses reaching global audiences on LinkedIn Learning. Catherine’s award-winning book, BACK OFF! Your Kick-Ass Guide to Ending Bullying at Work, was hailed by international leadership-guru, Ken Blanchard, as, “the most comprehensive and valuable handbook on the topic.” Her latest book is Navigating Toxic Work Environments For Dummies (Wiley).

HR, Are You Part of the Incivility Problem?

You already know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of workplace “drama.” Complaints about rudeness, tension between team members, and employees quietly disengaging are all part of the daily grind. You know it’s expensive. You know it’s draining for you to...

4 Strategies to Infiltrate Civility Into Your Global Organization

At its core, civility is the foundation of a thriving culture. It shapes how people communicate, lead, resolve tension, and show up, especially when challenges arise. Civility doesn’t look the same everywhere, however. What feels respectful in one culture might come...

Is It Okay To Bully AI?

According to a Pew Research Center study, 79% of Americans interact with artificial intelligence (AI) almost constantly or several times a day. Gartner predicts that by 2026, 80% of enterprises will be using generative AI in some form. That means we’re not just...

What Exactly is Civility vs. Incivility?

August is National Civility Month! Civility has recently climbed to the top of search trends, and with SHRM’s #CivilityAtWork initiative, the conversation is gaining real traction. But here’s the question: do you truly understand what civility means in the workplace?...

Is your workforce survey measuring the right things?

Many HR leaders rely on employee surveys to gauge the health of the workplace culture, but not all surveys are created equal. Whether you're using an engagement survey, a Great Place to Work® survey, or another tool, the question is: Are you gathering the right data?...

Conscious Unbossing: Why Gen Z Is Saying “No Thanks” to Leadership Roles

According to DDI’s Global Leadership Forecast 2025, 80% of HR professionals lack confidence in their leadership pipelines. CEOs are just as concerned, ranking “developing the next generation of leaders” among their top four worries. Gen Z is shaking things up. They’re...

The Workplace Culture Model Every Leader Needs to Know

We all want a workplace where people feel seen, heard, and valued. But building that kind of culture takes more than good intentions and inspirational posters. It demands a clear-eyed look at how people behave, how leaders lead, and how the organization itself either...

From Desperation to Determination: Reflecting on 16 Years of Growth

I just got an email from a spammer offering SEO help for my very old website — www.NoWorkplaceBullies.com. I hadn’t thought about that site in ages, so I typed in the link... and there it was. The original website I built the day I started my business — though it...

Sick of HR getting the blame for bullying? (For Dummies Excerpt)

As I was writing my upcoming book, Navigating a Toxic Workplace For Dummies (Wiley), I was reminded about all the research on workplace bullying that indicates HR gets the blame for bullying, HR is not helpful, and, in fact, according to the research, most often makes...

Take Care of Your Employees’ Mental Health: Employers’ Role in Addressing Burnout (Excerpt from For Dummies)

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. A good time to reflect on how work environments either support or sabotage employee well-being. Burnout is on the rise and employers’ role in addressing burnout has never been more important. If you’ve ever worked in a toxic...