I just returned from the Ohio Safety Conference (OSC), where I spoke about Why Safety Fails Without Culture & Behavior. In addition to my session, we hosted a booth where we handed out some swag, including copies of my book, Navigating a Toxic Workplace For Dummies.
While we had an overall great experience and tons of wonderful conversations, we noticed something bad happening: People said things like, “Please don’t send me an email-my boss might see it,” or “I can’t take the book because I might get in trouble at work.”
Unfortunately, this fear isn’t unusual. According to Gallup, only about 3 in 10 employees strongly agree that their opinions count at work, a key indicator of psychological safety.
Millions of employees are navigating workplaces where speaking up or even learning about healthier cultures can feel risky. In this case, even being associated with terms like “toxic culture” or being caught with a book on solving it felt unsafe. (So, sad!)
And that’s a problem. People protect themselves rather than engage, avoid conversations about culture, stop raising concerns and simply disengage or leave.
The hidden cost of silence
When employees feel they must hide their interest in workplace civility, the organization pays a price.
First, silence prevents early problem-solving. Issues that could have been addressed through conversation often grow into larger conflicts or turnover.
Second, fear erodes trust. Employees quickly learn that certain topics like bullying, incivility, or toxic behavior are unsafe to discuss.
Finally, disengagement spreads. When people believe nothing will change, they stop trying.
And yet, many leaders never realize this dynamic is happening. After all, if employees are afraid to speak up, leaders may mistakenly assume everything is fine.
So what should organizations do?
If employees feel uncomfortable even learning about workplace civility, it’s a signal that psychological safety needs attention. Fortunately, leaders can take concrete steps to change this dynamic.
1. Normalize conversations about culture
First, leaders must make discussions about culture visible and routine. When executives openly talk about respect, civility, and psychological safety, it sends a clear message: these topics are not threats. They are priorities.
For example, leaders can regularly ask teams:
- “What helps you feel respected at work?”
- “What behaviors make collaboration easier or harder?”
- “What would make this team even more supportive?”
Over time, these conversations shift culture from silence to openness.
2. Examine what behavior is actually rewarded
Most organizations say they value respect and collaboration. However, sometimes there is an overlap between what was said and the definition of what gets rewarded.
If high performers are allowed to behave poorly, employees learn that results matter more than respect.
If people who raise concerns are labeled “difficult,” employees learn that honesty has consequences.
Culture follows incentives. Until behavior expectations apply to everyone, including top performers, employees will remain cautious.
3. Close the gap between stated values and lived experience
Most organizations have core values like respect, integrity, and collaboration posted somewhere on their website or office walls
Employees are paying attention to something else: whether those values show up in daily behavior.
If leaders tolerate incivility, ignore bullying, or avoid addressing toxic behavior, the values quickly lose credibility.
And once credibility is lost, employees stop trusting the system to protect them.
4. Make learning about culture visible and encouraged
Finally, organizations should actively promote resources that help employees understand healthy workplace dynamics.
That means making conversations about culture visible, normal, and encouraged. Share articles. Host conversations. Offer training. Highlight stories of teams that have improved collaboration or addressed difficult behaviors constructively.
The more visible these efforts are, the less risky they feel. Over time, the message becomes clear: learning about workplace civility isn’t dangerous, it’s expected.
In that spirit, we’re also sharing the resources I offered to attendees at the Ohio Safety Conference, so you have a starting point for conversations within your own organization:
- How To Measure And Increase Psychological Safety On Your Team
- Toxic Workplace Risk Management Plan
- Building a Civil Workplace: An Operational Readiness Check
- How To Measure And Increase Psychological Safety On Your Team
- Abrasive Leader Assessment
- Core Competency Matrix
Turning awareness into action
Creating a workplace where employees feel safe to speak up doesn’t happen by accident, it takes intention, leadership, and the right tools.
If you’d like to bring this training to your workforce or explore how to strengthen civility and psychological safety in your organization, connect with us at Civility Partners. We’re here to support you every step of the way.
I was honored to be a guest on the Work for Humans podcast with Dart Lindsley, who leads Global Process Excellence for People Operations at Google. His podcast features incredible guests, including Adam Grant.
Dart was one of the most thoughtful and challenging hosts I’ve had the chance to talk with. He asked deeper questions about things like employer abandonment and how organizations can help broker empathy. Check it out!
