2 Ways Your Organization Facilitates Harassment & Bullying

by Jan 27, 2021

As an executive coach who specializes in coaching leaders who engage in bullying, I get the opportunity to dig deep into the minds of abrasive and aggressive people at work.
 
It’s a place most HR professionals and leaders don’t venture but I thoroughly enjoy coaching these bullying leaders. They are leaders who’ve lost their way, and I get to bring them back to reality. In turn, everyone who works with the leader benefits.
 
In addition to being lost in leadership, there are several other things bullying leaders have in common:
 
  • They learned to be a fighter somewhere along the way. They grew up in a rough neighborhood and pulled themselves out of it, they came to America without knowing English and eventually worked their way to a PhD, they were the only woman and single parent in their med school classes… Every person I’ve coached has a story about overcoming something major.
  • Their fight has turned into fighting for success at work, and so they are high-performers and highly valued by organizational leaders. That high performance is the reason people who bully are allowed to do so; the CEO is afraid to poke the bear and have them quit.
  • They lack social and emotional intelligence. They know people see them as difficult and frustrating, but they don’t know the depth of the impact they have. That people cry at work or home, see a therapist, or quit because of their behavior is lost on them.
  • The organization facilitates their behavior. Yep, I said it. The organization facilitates the bullying behavior.
 
Here are two areas of concern I always come across when coaching people who bully.
 
Bad behavior isn’t addressed early on. By the time I take on coaching clients, they’ve already been bullying for some time. With each instance of bullying without repercussions, permission has been given to engage in bullying behavior.
 
Many times, the CEO or HR has had conversations with the leader about their behavior and attempted to help them see the negative impact, but without consequences attached to requests for change it’s all moot. The leader understands that they should try to be better, and that the organization doesn’t really care if they change.
 
The organization hasn’t set the leader up for success in giving feedback. Every single person I’ve coached got into trouble partly because of the way they were giving feedback. Giving constructive, useful and effective feedback isn’t a skill everyone is born with and every organization should be providing training from the bottom up on doing it well. Leaders who aren’t trained in feedback techniques are more likely to engage in bullying.
 
For example, one leader I coached was frustrated with an employee she saw as not performing, and that started to come through in her communication with him. One day she exploded at him and found herself in the principal’s office (i.e., HR). Through coaching, she was able to learn how to deliver both positive and constructive feedback more consistently and effectively.
 
The organization could’ve saved themselves a lot of trouble by doing that a lot earlier on. This is a common narrative with all my coaching clients.
 
WHAT YOU CAN DO
 
In addition to addressing the individual engaging in bullying, assess what the organization might be doing to facilitate the behavior. Did you address the behavior early on? Have you provided training in delivering feedback?
 
Other risk factors for bullying include high competition, bureaucracy, lack of attention on corporate values, stressful environments, and remote work. Do any of these areas ring a bell for your organization? If so, a good place to start addressing bullying is with your organizational culture.
 
And a good place to start addressing organizational culture is with a climate assessment.
 
If you’d like to discuss coaching for an abrasive leader in your organization, schedule a call with me and let’s do it.
 
Sincerely,
 
Catherine

About Catherine Mattice Zundel

Catherine Mattice Zundel, MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP is President of consulting and training firm, Civility Partners, and has been successfully providing programs in workplace bullying and building positive workplaces since 2007. Her clients include Fortune 500’s, the military, several universities and hospitals, government agencies, small businesses and nonprofits. She has published in a variety of trade magazines and has appeared several times on NPR, FOX, NBC, and ABC as an expert, as well as in USA Today, Inc Magazine, Huffington Post, Entrepreneur Magazine, and more. Catherine is Past-President of the Association for Talent Development (ATD), San Diego Chapter and teaches at National University. In his book foreword, Ken Blanchard called her book, BACK OFF! Your Kick-Ass Guide to Ending Bullying at Work, “the most comprehensive and valuable handbook on the topic.” She recently released a second book entitled, SEEKING CIVILITY: How Leaders, Managers and HR Can Create a Workplace Free of Bullying.

3 Easy Ways to Align our Fitness Goals with a Busy Work Schedule

It’s January - the month of resolutions and setting goals…fitness being top-of-mind for many. According to a 2021 Statistca study on resolutions, 50% of surveyed Americans resolved to improve their fitness. Yet, another Statistca study from 2018 found that only 4% of...

4 Ways HR Has Evolved Since COVID (Have you evolved too?)

There’s no question HR has evolved tremendously over the past few years. The question is, have you evolved too? Here are our predictions on where we’re at and where we’re headed, in four specific and important areas.    The Great Rebranding of Human Resources How...

10 Ideas for Re-Onboarding Your Workforce

Well, we made it through 2021! On to 2022, and the chance to bring your employees back to the workplace. Every organization’s return to work path is unique. Some organizations did not go remote, some went fully remote and plan to stay that way, and others are...

Happy New Year from Civility Partners!

It’s the season of giving, celebration, and reflection of the year behind us…resolving what we’d like to change for the year to come. In the spirit of the season and a new year around the corner, the Civility Partners team thought we’d share some of our professional...

4 Reasons Why You Should Create Employee Resource Groups For Your Workforce

Article written by: Victoria Hortman If you’re not leveraging Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) in your business, you’re missing out on the potential your diverse employees can bring to the table. ERGs support employees with upskilling and leadership opportunities,...

6 Common Accidents at the Workplace

Author: Farlyn Lucas Workplace culture has a significant effect on how well we do our work and go about each day. A toxic work environment can negatively impact overall team morale, productivity, and work quality. What "toxic" means, in this case, varies. It can be...

Meet the Team at Civility Partners

In the past few months, we’ve had some new additions to the Civility Partners family and we figured we should make some introductions! Each of us brings a unique perspective and background to the work we do!Catherine Mattice CEO/Founder As you may already know,...

Are you still engaged in #BLM?

As you may know, every Thursday at 9:30 am Pacific I host “Catherine’s Corner” - my LinkedIn Live show where I invite distinguished guests to share their expertise on the working world today. One of my favorite shows was in the beginning with Eric Ellis, the President...

We’re Mad as Hell: Frat Boy Culture in the Gaming World

The sexist culture in the gaming industry doesn’t start and stop with Blizzard. According to this article in Forbes, “In 2020, 41% of video game players in the United States were female. Yet the vast majority of game protagonists are male… According to the 2020 Global...

1 Minute to Benchmark Your Organization

There’s been a lot of information going around about mask and vaccine mandates, return to work policies, and flexible work. There has been a whole lot less information going around about the most important topic: People. We are curious about the people component of...