Coaching Bad Behaviors with Appreciative Inquiry

by Nov 26, 2012

coaching-bad-behaviors

Appreciative Inquiry (AI) is based on the assumption that what we focus on will bring more of what we focus on. If we focus on questions like, “What’s the problem?” and, “How  can we fix it?” then more problems will appear.

AI takes the position that every person has positive aspects that we can build on. In coaching bad behavior, focusing on the positive and building on it can be much more effective than focusing on the negative and how to end it.

AI is about asking questions like, “What’s working well?” and, “What’s good about what you’re doing now?” These questions focus on what’s going right so your employee can continue to get better in the right areas. Naturally, as good behaviors become habits, bad behaviors will disappear.

AI follows four steps, as outlined below. Within each step, I’ve provided some questions to use as prompts as you work to address negative behavior. Try them out during your next performance coaching session.

1. Discovery – What are you proud of? What works about your behavior? What are your successes? What contributed to those successes? Why did those things work?

2. Dream – To become even more effective, what do you want to continue to do, do more of, or do differently? How can you get even better results?

3. Design – What support do you need to do these things? What resources do you already have or need? What specific goals can we set to be sure you reach your full potential? What is the time-frame for completion?

4. Destiny – What will life be like when you reach those goals? What needs to happen to ensure we sustain that quality of life?

Again, by asking these kinds of questions, you’re forcing the coachee to think about the good aspects of their behavior, why it’s good, why it’s working, and how to build upon those skills.

This is much different than telling someone what’s not working, and then asking them to stop. That kind of conversation ends in, “Now what?” and provides no real direction or information about why or how to change.

Civility is the platform for organizational success—it is absolutely necessary for an organization to reach its goals. Download our Ebook on Seeking Civility to learn more on how to create a workplace free of bullying and abusive conduct.

 

Catherine

About Catherine Mattice

Catherine Mattice, MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, is the founder/CEO of Civility Partners, an organizational development firm focused on helping organizations create respectful workplace cultures and specializing in turning around toxic cultures. Civility Partners’ clients range from Fortune 500s to small businesses across many industries. Catherine is a TEDx speaker and an HR thought leader who has appeared in such venues as USA Today, Bloomberg, CNN, NPR, and many other national news outlets as an expert. She’s an award-winning speaker, author, and blogger and has 60+ courses reaching global audiences on LinkedIn Learning.  Her fourth book, Navigating Toxic Work Environments For Dummies (Wiley), is available in all major bookstores and where audiobooks are sold.

Culture Eats Your Policies for Breakfast

If I see or hear the quote, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast,” by Peter Drucker one more time, I might vomit. Everyone loves this phrase, but I’m convinced no one knows what it even means. If they did, Civility Partners would be out of a job. While I haven’t read...

Navigating a Toxic Workplace: Practical Strategies for Leaders, HR, and Employees

When toxic behavior - such as gossip, harsh sarcasm, incivility, rudeness, public shaming, serial interrupting, microaggressions, and unresolved conflict - is brushed off as personality differences or “not that bad” it normalizes the behavior. As leaders look the...

Start the Year on a Good Note (Literally): Your Workplace Playlist

Research consistently shows that music affects how our brains process emotion, connection, and stress. According to the American Psychological Association, music can reduce cortisol levels, helping lower stress and anxiety while improving emotional regulation. In...

Celebrating Your 2025 Wins!

Have you stopped to pause and appreciate everything you’ve accomplished this year? Were you able to make some strides on improving your culture? Did you finally get that one initiative approved that you’ve been working on for a while? Or maybe you finally finished out...

HR in 2025: A Year in Review

As 2025 comes to a close, it’s hard not to look back and notice just how much the world of HR has been in motion.  This year revealed an incredible amount of resilience, creativity, and heart across the profession. Many of you worked quietly behind the scenes,...

’Tis the Season for Boundaries: Protecting Your Time and Well-Being This Holiday Season

The holiday season is a time to rest, connect, and reflect. But for many employees, it can also feel overwhelming.  Work seems to speed up instead of slow down thanks to the “vacation tax” that comes with time off. Projects pile up, deadlines tighten, and expectations...

A Year of Appreciation: What We’re Grateful For at Civility Partners

As we approach the holiday season, our team at Civility Partners is taking a moment to pause, breathe, and reflect on what we’re most grateful for.  Our mission has always been clear: to partner with our clients to help them create a positive workplace environment....

Civility Partners vs. Korn Ferry & EY: What Sets Us Apart

Recently I was asked the question on a podcast: “What do people get when they work with Civility Partners? My answer: “You’ll get direct, honest and empathetic information. We care very much about our mission to create work environments across the globe where people...

Speak Like a CEO, Lead Like HR: Power Language That Drives Culture Change

Last week, we gave you tips on how to make a business case for culture change. Did you try it yet? How did it go? As we were brainstorming for this week's newsletter, we realized that part two is in order, and it’s all about how you present the amazing business case...

6 Steps to Build a Business Case for Culture Change

If you’re reading this, you’re probably standing in the middle of an impossible tug-of-war. Leadership wants data. Employees want meaning. And somehow, you’re supposed to turn feelings, trust, and respect into metrics that fit on a slide deck. But here’s the truth:...