Moment of Truth: Are You a Workplace Bully?

by Aug 30, 2017

We seem to be trapped in a cycle of violence and hate that we can’t escape thanks to technology. The news is full of many, many acts of bullying and incivility, and if you turn your television off to escape it all, you’ll find it coming through your Facebook feed instead.

I can see that this spotlight on bullying has inspired employers to pause and look around their own work environments. Indeed, my business has been booming lately as the fact that adults can and do bully has become frighteningly crystal clear for those who didn’t already know that.

But let’s talk about workplace bullies.

Contrary to popular belief that people who bully can’t change, my own experience coaching “bullies” finds that people who bully can – and want to – change. They bully because they want to be seen as uber-competent, and they mistakenly believe that aggression allows them to achieve that goal. They may also be annoyed by perceived incompetence of those around them, and lack in the social and emotional intelligence to work through that.

And here’s the kicker – they don’t know how damaging their behaviors truly are. They are intimidating, embarrassing, and insulting others with a complete lack of self-awareness.

As I think about this, it makes me wonder, how many of us are wandering around engaging in behaviors we shouldn’t?

Part of my coaching process is to interview 8-10 people and understand perceptions of my coaching client. What would 8-10 people say about me? What would they say about you?

Am I a bully? Are you a bully?

Sounds far-fetched, I know. But just to be safe, I created this assessment to ensure we are all doing our best to make the workplace a better, more positive place.

I’m all about solutions, so if you’re interested in how to get rid of your inner workplace bully once and for all, you can check out my Forbes article, Seven Steps You Can Take If You Think You Might be a Workplace Bully.

Enjoy!

Catherine

Do you know how much money chronically bad behavior costs your company? Spoiler alert – it’s a LOT higher than you want it to be. Download our data and worksheet to see how it’s costing your organization and what you can do to fix it.

 

Catherine

About Catherine Mattice

Catherine Mattice, MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, is the founder/CEO of Civility Partners, an organizational development firm focused on helping organizations create respectful workplace cultures and specializing in turning around toxic cultures. Civility Partners’ clients range from Fortune 500’s to small businesses across many industries. Catherine is a TEDx speaker and an HR thought-leader who has appeared in such venues as USA Today, Bloomberg, CNN, NPR, and many other national news outlets as an expert. She’s an award-winning speaker, author and blogger, and has 50+ courses reaching global audiences on LinkedIn Learning. Catherine’s award-winning book, BACK OFF! Your Kick-Ass Guide to Ending Bullying at Work, was hailed by international leadership-guru, Ken Blanchard, as, “the most comprehensive and valuable handbook on the topic.” Her latest book is Navigating Toxic Work Environments For Dummies (Wiley).

3 Cultural Faux Pas You Might Not Realize You’re Making

Cultural missteps happen to everyone, even the most seasoned leaders and global brands.  Recently, American Eagle launched a campaign featuring actress Sydney Sweeney with the tagline “Sydney Sweeney Has Great Genes.” The pun on “jeans” was meant to be playful, but it...

HR, Are You Part of the Incivility Problem?

You already know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of workplace “drama.” Complaints about rudeness, tension between team members, and employees quietly disengaging are all part of the daily grind. You know it’s expensive. You know it’s draining for you to...

4 Strategies to Infiltrate Civility Into Your Global Organization

At its core, civility is the foundation of a thriving culture. It shapes how people communicate, lead, resolve tension, and show up, especially when challenges arise. Civility doesn’t look the same everywhere, however. What feels respectful in one culture might come...

Is It Okay To Bully AI?

According to a Pew Research Center study, 79% of Americans interact with artificial intelligence (AI) almost constantly or several times a day. Gartner predicts that by 2026, 80% of enterprises will be using generative AI in some form. That means we’re not just...

What Exactly is Civility vs. Incivility?

August is National Civility Month! Civility has recently climbed to the top of search trends, and with SHRM’s #CivilityAtWork initiative, the conversation is gaining real traction. But here’s the question: do you truly understand what civility means in the workplace?...

Is your workforce survey measuring the right things?

Many HR leaders rely on employee surveys to gauge the health of the workplace culture, but not all surveys are created equal. Whether you're using an engagement survey, a Great Place to Work® survey, or another tool, the question is: Are you gathering the right data?...

Conscious Unbossing: Why Gen Z Is Saying “No Thanks” to Leadership Roles

According to DDI’s Global Leadership Forecast 2025, 80% of HR professionals lack confidence in their leadership pipelines. CEOs are just as concerned, ranking “developing the next generation of leaders” among their top four worries. Gen Z is shaking things up. They’re...

The Workplace Culture Model Every Leader Needs to Know

We all want a workplace where people feel seen, heard, and valued. But building that kind of culture takes more than good intentions and inspirational posters. It demands a clear-eyed look at how people behave, how leaders lead, and how the organization itself either...

From Desperation to Determination: Reflecting on 16 Years of Growth

I just got an email from a spammer offering SEO help for my very old website — www.NoWorkplaceBullies.com. I hadn’t thought about that site in ages, so I typed in the link... and there it was. The original website I built the day I started my business — though it...

Sick of HR getting the blame for bullying? (For Dummies Excerpt)

As I was writing my upcoming book, Navigating a Toxic Workplace For Dummies (Wiley), I was reminded about all the research on workplace bullying that indicates HR gets the blame for bullying, HR is not helpful, and, in fact, according to the research, most often makes...