Great example of giving feedback

by Jul 14, 2016

I recently wrote a training program for a client on the topic of giving feedback, and since giving feedback well is an important part of a positive workplace, I thought I’d share this video I discovered in the process.

(Disclaimer, I have no idea who this person is, but he delivers textbook perfect feedback, so it makes for a great facilitated discussion.)

I suggest a 20-minute manager and supervisor meeting to show the video, and then ask: “What does this manager do well?” and facilitate a discussion about it and how to apply the information to your workplace.

Here are nine learning points I came up with, but your group might come up with more:

  1. He starts off with a positive. It sets a good tone for the meeting.
  2. He gave very specific information about her being late – he provided the specific time she came in. We take in feedback better with specific examples, and we can’t argue with them either.
  3. He says “I noticed you came in at 8:45.” Starting with “I noticed” instead of “You” seems to make people listen. It’s easier to take in feedback when someone says “I” because it sounds less threatening and accusatory. It’s easier to hear.
  4. He let her come up with her own solutions for resolution. People buy into their own ideas much more than they buy into other people’s ideas, she’s more likely to implement those solutions.
  5. He sat across from her, so there is no power play here.
  6. He asks questions to keep the conversation going, rather than just telling her she’s in the wrong. In reality, he who asks the questions holds the power in a conversation.
  7. It sounds like he meets with her often. Good leaders touch base with their employees regularly, so they don’t lose control of situations. It’s much easier to have a conversation like this one, than to let an issue fester and try to correct it later.
  8. He tells her exactly what happens when she is late. Everyone needs to understand “the why.” We are more inclined to make change if we understand how our actions affect others. We change when there’s a meaningful reason to change, and we do not change just because someone asked us to.
  9. His tone of voice is calm, cool and collected. He is demonstrating self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management (i.e., emotional intelligence).

After all, the point of giving feedback is get change in behavior. That means we have to do what we can to get behavior change.

No cost, not-too-time-consuming training. Done!

Do you know how much money chronically bad behavior costs your company? Spoiler alert – it’s a LOT higher than you want it to be. Download our data and worksheet to see how it’s costing your organization and what you can do to fix it.


About Catherine Mattice

Catherine Mattice, MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP is President of consulting and training firm, Civility Partners, and has been successfully providing programs in workplace bullying and building positive workplaces since 2007. Her clients include Fortune 500’s, the military, several universities and hospitals, government agencies, small businesses and nonprofits. She has published in a variety of trade magazines and has appeared several times on NPR, FOX, NBC, and ABC as an expert, as well as in USA Today, Inc Magazine, Huffington Post, Entrepreneur Magazine, and more. Catherine is Past-President of the Association for Talent Development (ATD), San Diego Chapter and teaches at National University. In his book foreword, Ken Blanchard called her book, BACK OFF! Your Kick-Ass Guide to Ending Bullying at Work, “the most comprehensive and valuable handbook on the topic.” She recently released a second book entitled, SEEKING CIVILITY: How Leaders, Managers and HR Can Create a Workplace Free of Bullying.

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