The first step in culture change: Ground rules exercise

by Aug 28, 2015

I travel around the world speaking on the topic of workplace bullying and I’m always asked one question: Where do I start?

The answer is with an exercise that will get the conversation going about workplace bullying, and more importantly, workplace civility.

During your next company-wide meeting break your attendees into groups of four and give them 15 minutes to answer this question: How would you like to be treated by your peers and managers?

If your company is too large or spread out to do company-wide meetings, or if you just don’t have them, you can always pass this exercise along to the department heads and let them run the exercise in their own teams. If you’re in California, you could also do this with managers and supervisors in the next sexual harassment training since you’ll already be on the topic of how to behave – and not behave – at work.

After 15 minutes ask each group to share their answers. As they call them out, write them on a whiteboard or large sheet of paper. Or you can type them out onto a Word document that is projected onto a screen. This is an important step in the exercise because they need to see that their desires and needs are similar. They will realize that they all want the same things. I’ve done this exercise many times in many organizations of all industries and sizes, and the list is always the same few items. We’re all humans and we all just want to be valued and we all just want to be treated with civility. Period.

Once you’ve completed the exercise, go back to your desk and group similar items together in order to make a more manageable list. I often just start making categories as I see them, and then move bullet points into the categories where it seems they fit. For example, you may notice a trend of bullet points that say, “acknowledge,” “praise,” “say thank you,” and “recognize others’ good work.” You can put those bullet points all into a category called, “Appreciation.” You may also notice there are several bullet points around communication, such as, “listen,” “use a civil tone of voice,” and “share information with everyone who needs it.” You might then create a category called, “Effective Communication.”

If you’d like an example, here’s a document created during a training with one of my clients. This is the document that was projected on the screen and filled in as groups shouted out their answers. In this case I ran five training sessions, and each session ended with this exercise. I just kept projecting the same document and adding to it. (A meeting attendee typed out the answers while I facilitated the collection.) From there, I created this document, which compiled the behaviors I collected into a set of three values and provided a description of what those three values meant. The descriptions come from the variety of answers I received in each of the three categories.

These two documents highlight the power of this exercise. I had four pages of behaviors and in the end was able to whittle them into three categories: respectful communication, trust, and teamwork. Realizing they all shared the same dream was powerful for them, and now they could come together and decide how to make it happen.

Now that you have whittled your own list down into something manageable you can use this consolidated list for all sorts of things. For starters you can put them in the healthy workplace policy. You’ll get buy-in for the policy because the behaviors the employees are being held accountable to came straight from them.

You’ll also be able to use your list of behaviors for a variety of other things such as a social vision statement, corporate values, performance management, lunch-n’-learns, rewards programs, and more.

Contact me if you need any help. I’m happy to help you figure out what to do with the ground rules gleaned from this exercise.

One example of using the ground rules to end workplace bullying involves one of my clients who worked with people with disabilities. Their mission was to help people with disabilities in their community participate in the community as much as they were able. They wanted people with disabilities to thrive – whatever that meant for each individual client given their disability.

They realized that workplace bullying was keeping their own organizational members from thriving in the community because they were unleashing unhappy people into the community at the end of each workday. After a training from me about workplace bullying and how to change the culture, we completed this exercise I am describing to you here in this post. Eventually they came up with the social vision, “A place to thrive” and revamped their corporate values to represent the behaviors that came out of this exercise.

Now employees could feel like they were thriving, and in turn could help clients thrive. Anyone who wasn’t on board with the new way of life and the new values either left on their own or was let go. Those that were let go were let go under the guise of being ill-fit with the culture. Since they were given a chance to demonstrate the values via performance improvement plans, the organization suffered no liability for unemployment insurance or wrongful termination. The organization had effectively tied together the vision, the values, and performance.

Ultimately, the best part about this program is that your actions will tell employees you are ready to listen to complaints about workplace bullying and incivility. Listening will get you the information you need to make a business case to your C-Suite for making change, and it will give you an idea of where to start.

Contact me if you need any help.

 

Do you know how much money chronically bad behavior costs your company? Spoiler alert – it’s a LOT higher than you want it to be. Download our data and worksheet to see how it’s costing your organization and what you can do to fix it.

 

Catherine

About Catherine Mattice

Catherine Mattice, MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, is the founder/CEO of Civility Partners, an organizational development firm focused on helping organizations create respectful workplace cultures and specializing in turning around toxic cultures. Civility Partners’ clients range from Fortune 500’s to small businesses across many industries. Catherine is a TEDx speaker and an HR thought-leader who has appeared in such venues as USA Today, Bloomberg, CNN, NPR, and many other national news outlets as an expert. She’s an award-winning speaker, author and blogger, and has 50+ courses reaching global audiences on LinkedIn Learning. Catherine’s award-winning book, BACK OFF! Your Kick-Ass Guide to Ending Bullying at Work, was hailed by international leadership-guru, Ken Blanchard, as, “the most comprehensive and valuable handbook on the topic.” Her latest book is Navigating Toxic Work Environments For Dummies (Wiley).

3 Cultural Faux Pas You Might Not Realize You’re Making

Cultural missteps happen to everyone, even the most seasoned leaders and global brands.  Recently, American Eagle launched a campaign featuring actress Sydney Sweeney with the tagline “Sydney Sweeney Has Great Genes.” The pun on “jeans” was meant to be playful, but it...

HR, Are You Part of the Incivility Problem?

You already know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of workplace “drama.” Complaints about rudeness, tension between team members, and employees quietly disengaging are all part of the daily grind. You know it’s expensive. You know it’s draining for you to...

4 Strategies to Infiltrate Civility Into Your Global Organization

At its core, civility is the foundation of a thriving culture. It shapes how people communicate, lead, resolve tension, and show up, especially when challenges arise. Civility doesn’t look the same everywhere, however. What feels respectful in one culture might come...

Is It Okay To Bully AI?

According to a Pew Research Center study, 79% of Americans interact with artificial intelligence (AI) almost constantly or several times a day. Gartner predicts that by 2026, 80% of enterprises will be using generative AI in some form. That means we’re not just...

What Exactly is Civility vs. Incivility?

August is National Civility Month! Civility has recently climbed to the top of search trends, and with SHRM’s #CivilityAtWork initiative, the conversation is gaining real traction. But here’s the question: do you truly understand what civility means in the workplace?...

Is your workforce survey measuring the right things?

Many HR leaders rely on employee surveys to gauge the health of the workplace culture, but not all surveys are created equal. Whether you're using an engagement survey, a Great Place to Work® survey, or another tool, the question is: Are you gathering the right data?...

Conscious Unbossing: Why Gen Z Is Saying “No Thanks” to Leadership Roles

According to DDI’s Global Leadership Forecast 2025, 80% of HR professionals lack confidence in their leadership pipelines. CEOs are just as concerned, ranking “developing the next generation of leaders” among their top four worries. Gen Z is shaking things up. They’re...

The Workplace Culture Model Every Leader Needs to Know

We all want a workplace where people feel seen, heard, and valued. But building that kind of culture takes more than good intentions and inspirational posters. It demands a clear-eyed look at how people behave, how leaders lead, and how the organization itself either...

From Desperation to Determination: Reflecting on 16 Years of Growth

I just got an email from a spammer offering SEO help for my very old website — www.NoWorkplaceBullies.com. I hadn’t thought about that site in ages, so I typed in the link... and there it was. The original website I built the day I started my business — though it...

Sick of HR getting the blame for bullying? (For Dummies Excerpt)

As I was writing my upcoming book, Navigating a Toxic Workplace For Dummies (Wiley), I was reminded about all the research on workplace bullying that indicates HR gets the blame for bullying, HR is not helpful, and, in fact, according to the research, most often makes...